On Contextual Sensitivity...

I coined a word – a phrase really – called “contextual sensitivity”. Per me (remember, it’s my phrase) it means having the ability, innate or learned over time, to sense what’s happening around you so that you don’t say or do or write something that will get you into trouble. This phrase is lovely in that it incorporates a way to successfully cope with the new world order – one where how one gets results is as important as actually getting the results.

Sadly, being this lovely phrase’s founder is as close as I usually get to achieving this kind of inter-personal nirvana. Here’s why…

Despite all the public doubting (most of which is created by me through an inadvertent bad word of mouth campaign I launched against myself back in my teens) I’m actually a pretty good guy. And I’m not the only one who would agree; you could ask my friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family and complete strangers (at least those for whom I’ve done anonymous good deeds).

The problem with contextual sensitivity is that being a good guy (or person for you gender neutralists) is not enough any more. That’s because of the new world order I spoke of in my introductory paragraph: the rules of success are becoming increasingly challenging as style points now (rightfully) play into the equation.

Style in this case being the way in which you go about saying or doing or writing things.

My style, despite all these years of development, is still being defined. I’m still very much a work in progress which means every now and again (and again) someone is miffed or pissed off with something that came, in one way or another, from me. Sometimes it’s intentional so I gladly take full responsibility. Sometimes, they misconstrue something; there I take partial responsibility. Sometimes, they are complete morons and I take no responsibility while avoiding all possible future contact. But mostly, it’s one of these first two scenarios.

When I really put my mind to it, my communication skills are quite solid; the problem is that there is not always sufficient time surrounding most of my interaction to “really put my mind” to it. With technology tethering us to the office and the ever-increasing speed of my own (plus my own friends’ and family’s) wants and needs, the need for speed is paramount.

So how does one effectively go faster while keeping communication-based guffaws in check?

I have no idea. My best practices don’t always work: I read each e-mail twice (sometimes thrice); I rehearse the main points and my segue for any important conversation I must have with anyone whether above or below me in the corporate and/or social totem pole (in fact, I try unsuccessfully to forget about the totem pole altogether); I try to consider the other person (i.e.., his or her needs, etc.) before responding to something that they bring up.

Maybe this is as good as it gets. I don't know. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.